Is God most present within the Church?
This has been a question I have been thinking about for a while. It’s easy to say yes right off the bat. I mean, churches are designed to make you feel closer to God. That’s why they are covered with paintings of saints and the ceiling is often a starry night sky. Above the altar is the painting of Jesus Christ on the cross as a visual representation of how Jesus bridges the gap between heaven and earth.
But I don’t mean the physical church, the church we go to on Sundays. No, I’m talking about the Church, with a capital C. I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that the Church is the one true path to finding God. Who am I to say that He cannot be found in a mosque or temple or in nature? By saying that we can only be saved if we join and follow the teachings of the Church is to demean thousands of years of religious beliefs of billions of people.
I have, to date, seen 32 churches since I have come to Rome. This includes St. Paul Outside the Wall, San Marco’s in Venice, and St. Peter’s Basilica. I’ve seen the Sistine Chapel and have marveled at the Last Judgment. I’ve been moved by the beauty of the Pietá. I’ve seen the pope 4 times, including at Easter morning mass and the Stations of the Cross at the Coliseum!
But never have I ever found God as clearly as I did that one day in Tunisia. When I was in the desert, I could actually feel Him. I saw how the sand dunes changed within 30 minutes just by the wind. I saw the sun melt away. I felt Him wash away all my remaining sadness over losing friends, both physically and emotionally. I would draw my struggles in the sand with my finger and God would erase them with His might. Now I’m a good little Catholic. I’ve done all my sacraments and I go to church, but never have I felt as forgiven and free than when I carved “ME” in the sand and watch it turn clean again.
“ME” has a double meaning. It stands for Melissa and Emily, who I lost in high school in a car accident. I’ve carried that heartache with me for 5 years. We weren’t super close, but I lost a lot that night. I lost my sense of indestructibility, my sense of fearlessness, and my naiveté. After that night, I have been more cautious and only recently have I been able to regain some of that fearlessness.
The other meaning is more obvious: me. I am not proud of a lot of things I’ve done in my life. I’ve hurt people, I’ve lied, and I’ve sinned. By writing “ME” in the sand, I was giving God everything I had. It’s easy to offer up your talents but I gave Him my imperfections, my sins, and my shortcomings. “This is me,” I said. “I’m a sinner, but I’m trying. I’m trying to be better.” And God took me as I am.
Now tell me God is only in a Church.
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You have turned into a prophet, not a liturgical pharasee of the sanhedrin. You know who Erin is NOW!! You bless us with your epistle from Rome.
ReplyDeleteYou should be a writer
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful and profound reflection, Erin. I think you are perfect the way you are and I don't see any imperfections, either.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing sweetheart. That really is beautiful. And I absolutely agree, God is not only found in a church. The sermon at my church on Easter Sunday, the pastor talked about how in the Gospel the angel asks the women who come to Jesus' empty tomb "Why do you seek the living among the dead?" and that really struck me -- Christ is found among the living, among people, among creation. I hope you continue to find God's love throughout your time in Rome, in churches and in deserts and wherever else you may end up :) Take care chica!
ReplyDelete-Elizabeth
Nice blog Erin. You may not have found all the answers yet but at least you're asking all the right questions. Love you, Dad
ReplyDeleteWOW, I'm so proud of you Erin.
ReplyDelete/s/ ME
You know Erin, (well actually you don't) I'm 68 years old and I am still asking those same questions. I believe in a fair and just God. If you do your best to be good, to share your gifts to give and receive with humility God will bring you home when your time comes. What I have trouble with is the unfairness of the human condition. Why do some seem to have it so easy while others carry such a heavy burden? Will their reward be greater, if there is such a thing? But is THAT fair? Maybe those that had it easy could have handled more given the chance. Maybe those that had it hard were here before and didn't get a passing grade so they were given a second chance with a little more grace to help them climb out of the hole and up the hill. If a child dies before he/she is really tested, how is that handled? I could go on, but like your self and I'm sure all the rest of us, especially those who have lost someone special, we think and ponder on this stuff. I too am a practicing Catholic but I don't believe you have to belong to my club to be saved. YOU are off to a good start, welcome to the club.
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